II. Wilderness

Ox stretched his powerful arms into the air and yawned. The sun had just begun cresting over mountains in the distance. He walked down the dirt path behind his companions.

He spoke, breaking the nervous silence hanging over the group, “I hope our mule is a girl. I don’t care if they can’t carry all our gear; I like a nice cunt in my bedroll.”

Gus responded without turning, “I already told you, Ox, the guild won’t give us a female mule after what you did to the last one.”

Ox groaned, “By the gods! You fuck one pointy-eared cunt to death, and they never trust you around one again!”

Gus stopped and turned, his face twisted with exasperation. “I’m guessing it had more to do with your hands tightened around her neck as opposed to any interaction between your genitals.”

Ox stopped, put his hands on his hips, and stared into the sky, pretending to ponder Gus’s claim. “Hm... No, I’m pretty sure I fucked her to death. Her slave collar would have protected her from being strangled anyway.”

Gus rolled his eyes and sighed as he stared his companion down. “You’re a blind, idiotic animal, Ox.”

Ox approached Gus and put his hands on Gus’s narrow, leather-clad shoulders. Ox flipped his companion around before lightly pushing him forward and squinting down at him, “And don’t you forget it, my skinny little friend! I don’t have to see you clearly to rip you to shreds.”

Gus turned back and puffed his chest up against Ox. He stared up into the pelt-covered warrior’s scarred face and yelled, “Don’t call me ‘little,’ you fucking Neanderthal! Of all the days to act like a brainless adolescent, you choose this one! I ought to put a few more scars on that ugly face of yours!”

Ox bellowed a laugh and pushed his forehead down into Gus’s forehead. “Tempest is almost as hungry as I am, little man.”

They stared at each other, eye to eye, trying their best to intimidate.

Eadric shouted from a short distance ahead, “When you girls are done deciding who has the prettiest eyes, can you plug up your twats and pretend you’re men so we can get on with our mission?”

Ox and Gus turned their attention to Eadric. They eyed their leader in his shining, metal armor. His heavy helmet covered his masked face.

Eadric’s voice was softer when he addressed them again, “I understand that you’re both nervous. I am too. But we have a job to do. I need you both at your best. I’m counting on you.”

Both men crossed their arms and contemplated Eadric’s words. After a few short seconds, Ox extended his hand, and Gus accepted. They shook hands and nodded to one another.

Eadric gave them a thumbs-up as they caught up with him. “Our mule should be just beyond this thicket of trees. When we meet them, Ox, I need you to be nice to them, Ox. They have information we need, Ox. No berating, fucking, dismembering, or ridiculing the mule—at least until we know what needs to get done. Oh, and if you kill the mule again, Ox, you’ll be carrying everybody’s gear yourself.”

Ox mumbled while readjusting the large pack on his back, “Couple of sticks in the mud...standing up for elf trash... At least I can unload all this shit soon...”

Ignoring Ox’s grumblings, Eadric led his men off the beaten path and into the wilderness.

---

Appearing in a small clearing, Eadric pointed his plated hand toward a small elf sitting in the shade of a gnarled oak.

The elf stood quickly and bowed low as Eadric and his companions approached. His body was slender but had muscular definition. He had long, dark hair like most male elves, delicate facial features, and tall, pointed ears. He was naked except for a brown loincloth, shorts, travelling shoes, and a loose necklace. His tattoos were on the right shoulder (the male slave shoulder) and showed that he was of age. Eadric also spied the telltale guild crest in black ink.

He smiled warmly, his voice was squeaky and high-pitched, “Greetings, masters. My name is—”

Ox interrupted him, “Yeah, I don’t care what your squeaky little name is, knife ears. You are now Twinkle. Here, take my gear, Twink.”

Ox shoveled his pack down towards Twinkle, who grabbed it while saying, “Thank you.” He was at least a full foot shorter than Ox and much more slender. The pack was heavy, and Twinkle struggled to get it situated. Ox folded his arms, clearly upset that Twinkle was male.

Eadric shook his head but stayed quiet. He stepped towards Twinkle and removed his own bag, piling it on top of Ox’s pack. Twinkle’s legs almost buckled under the weight of two heavy burdens, but he stayed on his feet.

Eadric and Ox looked at Gus expectantly.

Gus hefted his pack up, keeping it around his shoulders. “I’ll hold onto mine. It isn’t that heavy, and it doesn’t look like he can handle much more anyway.”

Twinkle shifted under the weight of the packs while chirping, “Thank you, master. Let me know if you change your mind!”

Eadric stared down at Twinkle, who nervously returned his gaze. Eadric snapped his fingers expectantly. His expression hardened beneath his executioner’s mask and helmet. He didn’t have time for a lazy elf. Twinkle’s eyes widened, and he fished into his shorts. He withdrew a slip of black paper and a white pencil, which he handed to Eadric.

Eadric scribbled on the paper and read it once over to make sure it was all correct. He passed it to his teammates, who each signed their name.

Guild Quest Card

Company Name: Golden Champions

Party Leader: Sir Eadric Strongfellow

Member 1: Boris “Ox” Gritting

Member 2: Gustav “Gus” Shunk

Mule: Twinkle (Male)

Satisfied, Eadric handed the paper and pencil back to Twinkle, who carefully folded and tucked it away.

“And so,” Twinkle started, “the seal is complete and the quest has been accepted.”

Eadric rested his hand on the hilt of his sword and took a deep breath. “Alright,” he calmly stated, “I think it’s time you filled us in, elf.”

Twinkle nodded, his squeaky voice taking on a deeper and more serious tone. “Recently, an ancient elven ruin was discovered just beyond this clearing. The guild has contracted you to delve inside and retrieve an artifact believed to reside there. I don’t know what the artifact is, but apparently we’ll know it when we see it.”

Gus asked, “Have others gone before us? What dangers are we expecting?”

“No guild members have been sent to the ruin. Though it’s very possible that freelancers or looters have entered. As far as dangers go, I don’t know what to expect, Master Shunk.”

The companions shared a worried glance.

“Lead us on, Twinkle.” Eadric ordered.

Twinkle nodded and turned. He walked towards the edge of the clearing, trying to keep himself upright below the crushing weight of two full packs. The companions quietly followed behind. After a few hours of steady progress in the untamed wilderness, Twinkle stopped. His body was pouring with sweat. Eadric turned his attention to the side of a small hill.

Between a mossy thicket was the entrance.

It was rather ominous, and Eadric felt like a great danger awaited them below. He sensed a palpable tension in the air. Something was telling him to leave and never return.

“Let’s get to it then, lads. We get in and get out in one piece.” Gus muttered.

Steeling themselves, Ox, Gus, Eadric, and Twinkle stepped carefully into the darkness.

• Adventure
  • Aug 31, 2025 I. Tavern
  • Sep 1, 2025 II. Wilderness
  • Sep 3, 2025 III. Entrance
  • Sep 5, 2025 IV. Burial Site I
  • Sep 8, 2025 V. Campsite I
  • Sep 10, 2025 VI. Burial Site II
  • Sep 12, 2025 VII. Mid-Dungeon I
  • Sep 14, 2025 VIII. Mid-Dungeon II
  • Sep 18, 2025 IX. Campsite II
  • Sep 20, 2025 X. Late Dungeon I
  • Sep 22, 2025 XI. Late Dungeon II
  • Sep 24, 2025 XII. Late Dungeon III
  • Sep 28, 2025 XIII. Ashaya’s Altar
• Ending
  • Sep 29, 2025 XIV. Twinkle’s Fall